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Types Of Players In A Touch Tournament

With excitement hitting fever pitch ahead of the 4th edition of the Rabadaa Cup this Saturday, here are types of players that you should be on the look out for at Strathmore grounds.

Photo – Rabadaa Foundation.

The Star – We already described this one in detail, he probably does actually play rugby as a full time thing. He is here to remind you all of just how great he is, and try out stuff that he only imagines during a match and training sessions.

Also be on the look out for the ‘wannabe’ star, dresses the part but can’t catch a ball to save his life. The one time he does he either drops it or passes it to the floor.

The One Run Merchant – Guaranteed that 90% of the guys at the average touch tournament are unfit, there is always that one guy who suffers more than the rest of us.

He will come on, make one ‘big’ run then either drift to the wing, where he will stroll for the rest of the match or just walk out. The one run merchant is however very big on banter and words per minute against his/her opponents.

The Shouter – These ones are not hard to find, they are by far the most animated figures on the pitch, pretty fit too. They will always be barking instructions to their team mates either to pass the ball to them, or blaming them for something.

Their on pitch dictionary looks something like, ‘LETA LETA, PANDA, IN THEIR FACES, REF I AM FIVE..’ and so on and so forth.

The Hot Stepper – The reason we all love touch rugby, these ones are usually the smallest guys on the pitch, could have had a great rugby career but their size didn’t allow them. The touch field is their dancing ground, we come to watch in awe. Woe unto thee, if you are on the opposite side.

The hot stepper..

With one deft step, they will turn you into a meme and the laughing stock of the rugby fraternity for a few days to come.

The Coulda Woulda Guy – Also know as the ‘unge, ninge’ guy, we figure that his/her life must be filled with regrets.

They are two types of the woulda shoulda type of guy, the first, waits for their team mate to do something like make a run, only to come at them with a ‘Aaaah unge kimbia hivi instead…’ The second kind are those that take up a ‘bold,’ mostly stupid decision then come back with a guilt ridden face and, ‘Manze ningekupea tu, iza..usijali next time nitakuwai.”

The On Pitch Ref – Despite there being an appointed ref, this guy will make every call and most of the time disputing the ref’s call.

This one makes more effort in officiating the match than actually play it, they will call out the ref on anything and everything.

The Serious Guy – Despite touch being a fun event, this guy has come to compete and has come to win. He takes doesn’t take any funny plays from his team mates lightly. They most probably play rugby on the full and won’t need a second invite to remind you of their achievements in the sport.

The direct opposite would be the joker who is here to have fun, no matter what you guys think. The combination of these two in one team is nothing short of a comedy treat.

The Struggler – This is by far the most hard working player on the field, but unfortunately nothing they try ever works out. They’ll try a step, it will look more like a white man dance than a side step. They will run straight into the defense, then pass to whoever it concerns.

The best part about the struggler is that they never give up, never slack off, they will get back and work hard for the team. Every team needs one of these soldiers.

Their trade mark style is how they restart play, what we call ‘scratch or gwara.’ They literally pick the ball with both hands, up to their waist level then proceed to lift one of their legs to touch the ball almost looking like a ballet dancer…

The Rough Guy – Most probably a second row or a back row player by day, the thing is with these positions, they have no off days. Put them on a rugby pitch, they will smash everything and anything that is in front of them.

We are not pointing fingers…

These ones are known for their hard takes, big carries and even dirty play in some instances. Thing is, this is their idea of fun, to them they are being as ‘soft’ and gentle as they possibly can. They forget that they are as tough as nails.

A stiff arm or a shoulder charge will most certainly be followed by the most innocent of apologies and a cheeky smile.

The Fat Fly Half – This is virtually every rugby front row that has ever played touch rugby. There is something that touch does to a front row, it brings out their inner fly half.

While some actually do have some brilliant skills, the majority offer a tonne of comical relief, there are fewer funny sights than that of a 120 Kg prop trying a dummy or a side step.

The Old Guy – His best years are way behind him and he will not pass up an opportunity to remind you how great they were during those days.

They will want to dictate how their team plays, often trying to turn back the hands of time with a play before their body reminds them just how old they are. It is however a pure joy to watch them make a break for the line after a successfully selling a dummy to a kid half their age.

You are bound to spot these guys and even more tomorrow at the Rabadaa Cup, so come out nice and early lets have fun as we remember our fallen soldiers.

KWISHA…Nimeruka Nje!!!

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